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''Holding the Man'' is a 1995 memoir by Australian writer, actor, and activist Timothy Conigrave. It was adapted for the stage by Tommy Murphy in 2006. The original production, directed by David Berthold, has become one of the most successful Australian stage productions in recent years, playing in most Australian capital cities and London's West End. Murphy also wrote the script for a 2015 film adaptation, directed by Neil Armfield. ''Holding the Man'' was published in February 1995 by Penguin Books in Australia just a few months after Conigrave's death, and has since been published in Spain and North America. It has been reprinted fourteen times. ''Holding the Man'' won the United Nations Human Rights Award for Non-Fiction in 1995 and was listed as one of the "100 Favourite Australian Books" by the Australian Society of Authors for its 40th anniversary in 2003. ''Holding the Man'' tells the story of Tim's life, and centrally of his relationship with his lover of fifteen years, John Caleo. They met in the mid-1970s at Xavier College, an all-boys Jesuit Catholic school in Melbourne. The term "holding the man" refers to a transgression that incurs a penalty in Australian rules football. Caleo was a star footballer at high school, captaining the school's team and winning the APS Best and Fairest trophy in 1976. He was also an avid supporter of the Essendon Football Club, one of the reasons Conigrave appropriated the term as the book's title. ==Plot== In 1976, Timothy Conigrave fell in love with the captain of the football team, John Caleo. So began a relationship that was to last for 15 years, a love affair that weathered disapproval, separation and, ultimately death. With honesty and insight, 'Holding the Man' explores the highs and lows of their life partnership: the intimacy, constraints, temptations, and the strength of heart both men had to find when they tested positive to HIV. The story opens at Kostka, Xavier's junior () school in Melbourne. Here, the author begins to sexually experiment with other boys, and comes to the realisation that he is gay. Several years later, on his first day at Xavier College (the Jesuit senior school), Conigrave sees John Caleo for the first time.
The two form a friendship, and at the suggestion of Pepe, one of Tim's female friends, John is invited to a dinner party at Tim's house. The girls know Tim is in love with John, and 'pass a kiss' around the table for his benefit.
A few weeks later, Tim rings John at home, and asks "John Caleo, will you go round with me?" The reply is an unambiguous "Yep". The two graduate from High School in 1977, Tim attending Monash University and John studying to be a chiropractor at College. Despite parental opposition, Conigrave's eventual move to Sydney and NIDA, and youthful experimentation and infidelities, the relationship continues. Tragically, when Tim and John finally move in together in Sydney and are genuinely happy, they are diagnosed with HIV. The year is 1985. Until 1990, the men have relatively mild symptoms. Sadly, in the Autumn of 1991, John begins to rapidly deteriorate, suffering from lymphoma. Tim cares for his partner, whilst nursing symptoms of his own. The misery of HIV/AIDS is laid bare before the reader, with Conigrave sparing nothing in detailing the cruel progression of the disease. He watches as his lover's once-strong body is ravaged. The reader helplessly looks on as the story moves to its devastating conclusion. At Christmas, in 1991, John is admitted to the Fairfield Hospital in Melbourne. A month later, on Australia Day 1992, he dies of an AIDS-related illness, with his lover by his side, gently stroking his hair. Nearly three years later, shortly after finishing 'Holding the Man', Tim Conigrave passes away in Sydney. The final passages of the book are some of its most poignant:
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